Hilarious!! What Would You Do If You Are This Man? (Read What Happened)

I have laughed out my belly

read and enjoy.

After church on Sunday, A

wife saw her husband

sitting quietly she decided to

ask him,darling, "why re u

so gentle?"

He replied, "I'm still thinking

about what the pastor said."

Wife asked, "What is it?"

He said, "the pastor

confessed he slept with all

married nd single women in

d church but ONLY 1 woman

didn't want to sleep with

him."

Wife replied "It must be tht

Mrs Eunice! She tinks she is

better than everyone."

lolz! What will you do?

He Needs Your Advice:- Should I Follow The Gateman Inside?

I get one new babe her

name na Lovett, this girl fine

die and on top her beauty

na she Olamide sing for

because she carry front and

she carry back, anytime

when I dey with her my

body go just dey do me

t*t*rey. Few days ago she

say make I come her house

come see her,she say if I

reach make I talk to the

gateman, if possible make I

give am small money so that

him go smuggle me enter

inside her room, because the

papa na retired army and

him dey harsh well well for

her matter.

As I reach the house I come

see the gateman for outside

na him I go meet am, na old

man him even be, he wear

short nika and singlet when

don tear and him hold news

paper.

Me:- bros well done o, I

know say na you be

gateman here, abeg lovett

tell me say make I come see

her, hope say she dey?

Gateman:- yes, she is inside

Me:- what of the useless

papa?hope say e no dey

Gateman:- yes

Me:- abeg you go carry me

go lovett room

Gateman:- Okay, let's go in

Me:- okay, but make I first

buy condom for this shop

when dey outside, because

today na me and that her

big yansh go die together o

Gateman:- okay, make it

snappy, I'll be waiting

Me:- wetin tear your singlet

like this nau?

Gateman:- it got torn while

we were doing a little

sanitation

Me:- no worry I go buy

another one for you ehn

Gateman:- thanks a lot

Me:- you be correct guy, and

if you behave well when I

come I go give you small

thing join am

Gateman:- okay, thank you

As I dey find shop when I

go buy condom na him I see

one guy there when come

carry dozen of singlet, I

come ask am say where I fit

buy condom for the area,

him come show me, I come

ask am weather e dey sell

singlet say I wan buy for

somebody, na him e tell me

say as them dey do

sanitation for house na him

oga singlet tear so oga say

make he go buy dozen

come, say na him be

gateman for them lovett

house.

Abeg I no know weather

make I go the house again?

Advice me

Drop your comment.

LADIES: What Guys REALLY Think Of Hooking Up On The First Date

How soon is too soon? Guys get honest with us about s*x on the first date.

Times have changed, ladies, and with it, thedatingrules. We're

embarking on a new kind of relationship and with it, a newer type of

woman. But as all the traditional rules change, should thes*x?

How soon is too soon — or is it okay to ask for it on the first night?

We asked the dudes in our lives to dish on when they think it's

appropriate to do the deed — and their answers, well, they'll surprise

you.

S*x Is A Yes, But The Type Of Woman Matters

"I'm going to get so much sh*t for this," says Ben, 27, "but I've

dated a lot of artists — and I've found that they're way more

free-spirited when it comes to the s*xual aspects of a relationship.

As a guy, there's something about being with someone who's so carefree

— and it's something you feel immediately, so yes, s*x on the first

night is okay … with the right woman. I don't feel likehaving s*xon

the first night will challenge, or compromise, what happens

afterward." He adds, "I'm not saying that it's only artists! Just

speaking from personal experience."

"I think s*x on the first night depends on whether or not you're going

to regret it," says Mark, 25, "I'm really attracted to the type of

girl at the bar that looks like she's a little aloof to the whole

scene. I'm not trying to be an ass, but I don't want to take home a

good girl on the first night. I think it would ruin my chances with

her."

"If I'm feeling you — and you're feeling me — we're both adults,

right? So getting it on should be our decision; and well, if we both

want it and are clear about our feelings, then I don't see the point

in putting it off until the second or third date," admits Josh, 33.

There's Something About A Woman Who Makes You Wait

The guys I spoke to that were okay with holding out for a few dates

really surprised me. Their answers were candid, honest and they proved

that though the times, they are a-changin' there's definitely still

something to be said about passion, patience and keeping it in your

pants until the clock strikes hot.

"The first time I went out with this girl I was really into, I had

high hopes that she'd invite me back upstairs after dinner was over.

When she didn't, I was pleasantly surprised, despite what I'd

originally banked on. I realized that I wanted to wait for it, too —

and the harder she was willing to make me work for it, the more

attracted to her I was," Ethan, 29, says.

"It's refreshing to meet someone who doesn't want to give it up all at

once. I don't think it means you're easy if you want to have s*x on

the first date or even after the first night, but I'm way more

attracted to a woman who knows how rare it is to have something to

look forward to. Everything we do is geared toward instant

gratification — and I don't mean that after having s*x I think of

girls in a way like 'what else do you have to offer?', because I

definitely don't — but it's really nice to have time to get to know

someone and put some room in between deciding to ask them on a second

date and deciding between missionary and doggie," says Tony, 31.

"When mygirlfriendand I first met, we left the bar making out and I

was sure we were going to end up at her apartment having s*x. Then,

she asked for my number and hailed a cab, leaving me in the dust. I

was caught so off guard — I kinda thought that was the kind of sh*t

you only saw in movies — but I couldn't stop thinking about her all

night. The next day, when she texted me, I was that much more

interested in her. It was unexpected but totally awesome to have to

wait on someone else for once," Madison, 26, says.

You Can't Date The Girl You Take Home

"If you want to have s*x the first night we meet, I'm down," says

Travis, 23, "but just don't expect me to call you the next day — or

any day after."

"I think a lot of guys would stray from saying this because it would

make them sound soft or too sensitive, but we don't really want the

girl who sleeps with us on the first night. Okay, fine, some of us

really do, but the majority of us are just saying that we do. We

don't. We want the waiting period, the getting-to-know-you period. We

want to take you to overpriced dinners and then complain about it

behind your back. We want you to keep denying us, because it's s*xy as

f*ck, until you're ready. At least," Sam, 29, said, "I do."

"You know that expression 'You can't turn a hoe into a housewife'?,"

asks Quinn, 26. "I'm not saying that you should by any means call a

woman a hoe, but I think that the point of the saying is pretty true.

If I sleep with you on the first night, that's awesome, but I'm never

really going to see you as much more than that. You'll be the girl

that gave it up the first time we met."

So, ladies, I'm as surprised as you are, but the fellas have spoken:

Waiting is the new s*x.

Lovely 13 Ways To Be Incredibly S*xy (Even When You’re Feeling Blah)

It's all in the little things we do, each and every day.

We all go through those days—we feel blah, tired, and anything but

s*xy. It may bebody image, it may be exhaustion, work, stress, or just

about anything —but s*xy is a state of mind, and sometimes, our mind

just isn't there. Sometimes feeling s*xy is hard, but it doesn't have

to be. We can be a goddess in the bedroom, and everywhere else. And

we're going to feel smarter, s*xier and a whole lot more confident

while we're at it.

Feeling s*xy is not just about someone else thinking you are s*xy.

It's about an inner confidence, how you carry yourself, and how you

walk through every action of your day—from s*xy time to that sway of

your hips as you walk down the street. Obviously, we have a lot going

on other than playing the vixen, but we can still let our s*xy sense

of self shine, in everything we do. It's all in the little things we

do, each and every day.

So sit back and flip through our 13 easy tips to feel s*xier each day.

Prepare yourself. Your every day routine is about to go up a few fiery

notches

Top 5 Bold Ways I Overcame “Nice Guy Syndrome” And Got The Girl

"You're really nice and that scares me."

Those were the words out of her mouth when I was driving her home from

my parents house. I was 16 at the time, and she was one of the first

girls that had shown interest in me. How can being nice scare someone?

Shouldn't she be worried that I'm an axe murderer or hide bodies in

the trunk of my car? Checking in on her, telling her how much I care

for her and like her on the second date seemed to chivalrous and

direct. How could I be wrong? I even went out and bought a whole new

wardrobe that day because she mentioned she didn't like my shoes in an

offhand comment the day before.

"I just can't be with someone like you," she said. I couldn't breathe.

"That's cool. I'm going to go out tonight to party. Peace."

I thought thissinglecomment would show my edge and win her back, but

she got out of the car and went inside. How dare a woman not like me

for simply being who I am? I reached a turning point. I could rely on

the tactical pick-up artist (PUA) stuff I was listening to and

reading, or I could break it down step-by-step myself so that I could

become a man who naturally attracted women who were right for me. I

had to take baby steps. I set a goal for what I wanted to be: An all

around awesome guy who could make people laugh and smile, who valued

himself, and was driven and passionate about life.

But it all started with figuring out what being a nice guy actually

meant. I read books, PUA material, asked women, men, friends, and

talked endlessly about how to overcome this challenge in my life. I

was going to do whatever it took to get this handled. After a lot of

digging and research,I had figured out what a "nice guy" actually was:

It's a polite way of a woman telling me that I lacked personal

boundaries, I went above and beyond to please them, while not giving

myself what I needed as a man. That is repulsive to women. A man can

be many things, but lacking self-care is not one of them. I was

constantly putting everyone else before me. Through trial and error

over the past 10 years, I learned how to become a man who is confident

in himself. No more Mr. "Nice Guy."

Here's what I did to overcome "nice guy syndrome":

1. I LEARNED THAT IT'S OK TO CARE, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO SACRIFICE.

Nice guys think that if they don't go to the end of the earth for

someone, they're bad people. Last week, I spoke with a friend in Japan

who was going through a challenging time. The old me would have tried

to give advice and tell her everything was going to be OK but the new

me listens and recognizes someone for where they're at and

acknowledges when they're going through a hard time. I'm not

responsible for making everyone else's lives perfect. It's OK to care

about someone but that doesn't mean I have to sacrifice all of my

energy trying to help them. Remember: the flight attendant says put

your oxygen mask on first. If you're dead emotionally, how can you

save someone else?

2. I STARTED SAYING NO.

I had to learn to stop agreeing to everything because I thought it was

the right thing to do. My time was valuable and I needed to take care

of myself first. That meant saying no to extra work

hours,relationshipsthat weren't serving me, charities that I didn't

believe in, or someone asking for help when I was spread too thin.

3. I AUDITED MY FRIENDS.

Sticking with the same friends that I had had for a long time felt

loyal and honest and those are two characteristics I highly value.

However, hanging out with friends that weren't motivated, wanted to

get drunk all the time, and had an overall negative outlook on life

was no longer serving me. I had to let them go because not setting

boundaries with my male relationships was affecting my relationships

with women.

4. I REFUSED TO BE TREATED LIKE A DOORMAT.

I no longer accepted when people I knew made me the butt of jokes or

talked down to me. Even if they were older (like my boss at work), I

let it be known that I wasn't accepting that kind of behavior anymore.

In turn I held myself to a higher standard as well.

5. I ACCEPTED WHERE I WAS IN LIFE.

Accepting where I was in life emotionally, physically and with women

was important. Anytime I felt sorry for myself and looked to external

factors for validation never resulted in me feeling betterbecause I

didn't value myself. Once I learned that I had to become happy and

accept andlovemyself first before I got into a relationship,

everything became much clearer.

Must Read: The BIG Difference Between Polyamory And Cheating

Difference



Most people into polyamory are way more open and honest about their needs.



"My husband bought me a beautiful dress for my birthday and I went

away for a trip to the mountains with myboyfriend,"



Tessa shared in one of our coaching sessions.



Tessa is not cheating. Her husband knows about her boyfriend, and her

boyfriend knows about her husband. Tessa is polyamorous and among a

growing population who are insightful and bold enough to live out what

works for them:non-exclusive, committedrelationships.



There are stories of cheating partners abound: the religious

politician caught with his pants down in a bathroom; the devoted wife

found to have a cutie on the side.



Most of us jump to condemnation and feel the stirrings of fear: What

if my partner cheats? What if I have a wandering eye?



Cheating destroys many a marriage; betrayal is devastating to the

trust andintimacynecessary for long-term commitment. But, being with

someone else doesn'thaveto be betrayal, or impact trust and intimacy.



When I mention that I have clients who arepolyamorous, the reaction is

usually one of surprise, and then the assumption that they must be

emotionally damaged people in some way; they are unable to commit and

a threat to other people's monogamous relationships.



By contrast,my polyamorous clients tend to be more honest about their

needs and wants, having forged the challenging road to claim what

truly works for them in a culture that is terrified of female

sexuality and independence.



They have freed themselves from the potentially crippling expectations

of society to create partnerships that are specific to them:



*.These long-term relationships are based on ongoing open and

authentic communication among all parties.



*.They are loving and generous.



*.They encourage autonomy and interdependence without ownership.



*.They are more concerned with authenticity than exclusivity.



They recognize that we are all multi-faceted and that it's OK not to

be all things to one person. The trust they develop is tested by the

freedom they afford each other.



I am myself monogamous, knowing since childhood that I was seeking my

soul mate and partner. Having found him, I am sated sexually and

emotionally.



Still, I find myself uplifted and heartened by my polyamorous sisters,

proud of them for walking a path that is deeply counter-cultural in a

historical moment that seems bent on controlling, restricting, and

punishing women.

Ultimately, it is up to each of us to find out what works for us,

whether it adheres to our cultural norms or not. By probing our own

souls and living from our truths, we create lives we are thrilled to

be living, in a world that desperately needs us to shine our lights.

Would You Put Your Baby In This kind Of Bed? (See Photos)

A Jaws Superfan dad named Joseph Reginella made this terrifying epic

DIY bed for babies or small pets.

He put his own son on the bed to sample it and from the looks of it,

the lil man is terrified of the bed. I mean, who wants to sleep on a

bed with the thoughts of being eaten alive by a shark?

It's quite creative but would you put your child in a bed like this?

See more photos after the cut...